In my family, women were free and loud and noisy and outspoken. And it was all good. You had to make an effort to be heard but if you really had something to tell you were listened to.
There were also men; my grandpa and my uncle were silent and warm. I was quite fond of them. I thought men were supposed to be like that.
My whole life I was searching for the recognition I got used to in my childhood. In vain.
I was not a spoiled child. Learned how to fight, how to stand for myself. Something that was not always in my advantage.
But I don’t regret a thing. Wouldn’t want to have lived my life any other way. I’m grateful for the culture I was given, the joys I grew to appreciate.
Although I feel now that it’s all my secret. If you can’t share things you like, things that belong to you, they become clandestine.