Letdown – part 4
I was dreaming of living with Boyd. Forming a bond. I wanted to be with him so badly. He doesn’t want me, that’s how it feels. He is too keen on living the way he is used to. There’s no place for me in his life. He said he wanted the best for me. But shouldn’t I also have a say about what’s best for me? And what about our child?
Maybe it is better this way, I will go away. I don’t want to force him. I can’t force him. It’s his loss, not mine. I’m just a dream poorer.
He called me Carol. Carol is a former lover of his. She left him for another man. She lives somewhere around here with that man and their two sons. Good for her.
It hurts to have to keep wandering. I imagined us together. I have no idea where I will end up. Disturbing; I am more pregnant every day. Have to find shelter.